Parents undergoing separation or divorce often inadvertently do things that may be the detriment to the children. It is important that during transition, parents put the interests of the children before their own wants and care for the children. Some of the common mistakes made by parents during transition are that:
1. The parents use children as their therapist and talk to them about their feelings and “faults” of the other parent.
2. They make no effort to hide the conflict by discussing matters with the other parent in front of the children.
3. They do not co-operate with the other parent for parenting, causing the children to have instability in their lives.
4. They forget to reassure the children that it is not their fault, which often causes the children to feel guilty.
5. They start to interrogate the children about their time spent with the other parent.
6. They use children as messengers to convey messages to the other parent.
7. They interrupt the other parent’s access to the children to “punish” the other parent.
8. They turn one of the children into a “replacement spouse” (e.g. “man of the house”), further burdening him or her.
9. They spoil the children and the children pay the price for that later on.
10. They discuss child support issues openly and the children feel like they are part of a contract.