Some children defy authority, even when it is to their detriment. Jackie Gillard gives helpful tips for dealing with defiant children. She asks parents and care-givers to do the following:
1) Transfer power by giving the child perceived choice whenever possible, such picking out his/her own clothes.
2) Give permission to throw a tantrum.
3) Plan ahead and reserve extra time for dealing with the child’s defiant behaviour. This allows the parent to stay calm and prevent nagging for hurrying up.
4) Love them and pamper them as defiance is often used as means to gain attention by the child.
5) Defiant behaviour is related to a child’s desire to get adrenalin rush. Play games that create a safe surge of fear, such as hide-and-seek, to provide adrenalin rush to the child.
6) Discipline effectively by making consequences consistent, fair and firm.
7) Label the behaviour not the child.
http://www.todaysparent.com/kids/school-age/dealing-with-defiant-kid/
